Most Sox fans would probably wish for an Advent calendar and a bonus day of Christmas in order to create a whole new roster, but 12 days is what we get. If you don’t wish to get in the spirit of the (off) season and sing along, you can scroll down to the final verse.
On the first day of Christmas my true love gave to me
A NEW OWNER IN A PEAR TREE!
On the second day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Two Roland Hemonds
And A NEW OWNER IN A PEAR TREE!
On the third day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Three Al Lopezes
Two Roland Hemonds
And A NEW OWNER IN A PEAR TREE!
On the fourth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Four Jason Benettis
(yeah, the rhythm’s a little tight on that one, so sing it quickly because these improvements deserve announcing that doesn’t stink)
Three Al Lopezes
Two Roland Hemonds
And A NEW OWNER IN A PEAR TREE!
On the fifth day of Christmas, by true love gave to me
FIVE SERIES RINGS!
Four Jason Benettis
Three Al Lopezes
Two Roland Hemonds
And A NEW OWNER IN A PEAR TREE!
On the sixth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Six Lukes a-Appling
FIVE SERIES RINGS!
Four Jason Benettis
Three Al Lopezes
Two Roland Hemonds
Ans A NEW OWNER IN A PEAR TREE!
On the seventh day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Seven Fabers flinging
Six Lukes a-Appling
FIVE SERIES RINGS!
Four Jason Benettis
Three Al Lopezes
Teo Roland Hemonds
And A NEW OWNER IN A PEAR TREE!
One the eighth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Eight Minnies Mashing
Seven Fabers flinging
Six Lukes a-Appling
FIVE SERIES RINGS!
Four Jason Benettis
Three Al Lopezes
Two Roland Hemonds
And A NEW OWNER IN A PEAR TREE!
On the ninth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Nine Wilburs whiffing
Eight Minnies Mashing
Seven Fabers flinging
Six Lukes a-Appling
FIVE SERIES RINGS!
Four Jason Benettis
Three Al Lopezes
Two Roland Hemonds
And A NEW OWNER IN A PEAR TREE!
On the 10th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Ten Big Hurts hammering
Nine Wilburs whiffing
Eight Minnies mashing
Seven Fabers flinging
Six Luke a-Appling
FIVE SERIES RINGS!
Four Jason Benettis
Three Al Lopezes
Two Roland Hemonds
And A NEW OWNER IN A PEAR TREE!
On the 11th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Eleven Buehrles baffling
Ten Big Hurts hammering
Nine Wilburs whiffing
Eight Minnies mashing
Seven Fabers flinging
Six Lukes a-Appling
FIVE SERIES RINGS!
Four Jason Benetties
Three Al Lopezes
Two Roland Hemonds
And A NEW OWNER IN A PEAR TREE!
Finally, the big finale:
On the 12th day of Christmas, my true love gave to me
Twelve Popes a-praying
Eleven Buehrles baffling
Ten Big Hurts hammering
Nine Wilburs whiffing
Eight Minnies mashing
Seven Fabers flinging
Six Lukes a-Appling
FIVE SERIES RINGS!
Four Jason Benettis
Three Al Lopezes
Two Roland Hemonds
AND A NEW OWNER IN A PEAR TREE!!!!!!!
For those who want to add to the new roster or make substitutions, possibilities include (with apologies to Luis Aparicio, whose name just has too many syllables):
Shoeless Shining
Lyons launching
Foxes flaring
Pierces piercing
Collins crushing
Walshes winging
Paulies pummeling
Sales slinging
Robins robbing (hits, that is)
Duques dishing
Scotties stealing
Jenks a’jousting
Guilléns guiding
Etc.
